This is my blog, and I reserve the right to be lazy.
Fourth year is known for being the most laid back year of medical school. Allow me to illustrate:
Q: What does the first, second, or third year medical student do when he realizes that the hair product he bought for his beard has an ugly label?
A: Trick question. The first, second, or third year medical student has no time for personal hygiene! The fact that he has no time to maintain his beard is ironic (in an Alanis Morisette kind of way, not in a literary kind of way), because he also has no time to prevent it from growing.
on the flip side..
Q. What does the fourth year medical student do when he realizes that the hair product he bought for his beard has an ugly label?
A: Easy! He uses his vast amounts of free time to design and print his own label!
Q: The first, second, or third year medical student’s father mentions that he’s had to use the “world’s smallest violin” cliche often at work. What does the student do in response?
A: What? He was supposed to be listening to someone tell a story? The only people the first, second, or third year medical student pays any attention to are his cadaver and Goljan.
and the fourth year?
Q: The fourth year medical student’s father mentions that he’s had to use the “world’s smallest violin” cliche often at work. What does the student do in response?
A: Easy! The student uses his aforementioned free time to create an exhibit for his father’s desk!
Anything else you’d like to know about the mysterious and crafty fourth year medical student?
Here’s a little video about Match Day:
I get a lot of questions about how many job offers Y has gotten, which one he’ll take, etc, etc.
Apparently word hasn’t gotten out that matching into a medical residency is less like applying for a job, and more like pledging a sorority or fraternity. Let’s examine this theory:
Step one, in both cases, is the official Deactivation of the Facebook Page. No one can know about that time they wore a bow tie and posed with a Shake Weight.
Then, whether it’s Rush or Interview Season, they travel from place to place in a short time span, dressed in their finest. In Greek life, the places are houses, situated several yards away from each other in a row. In medical life, the places are hospitals, situated around the country. In both situations sensible shoes are advisable.
The applicants/potential new members attend several events — pink lemonade parties, grand rounds — where they make conversation and imagine themselves fitting in with the house/hospital.
Then, they must make one of the most important decisions of their lives. Thoughtfully, they craft a list of their top 10 (or 3, or 5, or 15) places they visited to be turned in by a designated time. Potential new members of sororities and fraternities get a few days to think about this; medical students get several weeks.
Meanwhile, the residency programs and active sorority/fraternity members are making their own top whatever lists based on criteria like board scores and bubble writing. (I’m sure sororities look at more than handwriting, but can we discuss how sorority girls have perfect handwriting and I am doomed to be forever inferior?)
When the medical students and the residency programs turn in their rank lists, a far away computer performs some kind of algorithm developed by an economist at Harvard. I’m not sure how it works on Bid Day – perhaps the computer has a part-time gig during its off season?
Match Day is approximately one month after the students and residency programs submit their rank order lists. Every graduating medical student in the country finds out where they matched at noon eastern on March 16th. (Some fourth year medical students find out their matches in private, this post explains how Y’s school does it. )
I’ve never been to a bid day, but I imagine it’s similar…but pinker.
See the similarities? Apparently it’s confusing for everyone involved – the social committee at Y’s school is throwing a post-match party and accidentally used a leftover theme from a sorority party: Devils and Angels. How embarrassing.
After the medical students find out where they matched, med school still isn’t over. It doesn’t officially end until graduation day on May 26th. If you’re wondering how medical students spend their final days before actually being employed, stay tuned. It involves a lot of sleeping. And in our house, a lot of Downton Abbey.
bid day photo via
Comment at a party full of normal people: Daaaamn, Nicki Minaj has a nice ass.
Comment at a party full of medical students: Daaaamn, check out Nicki Minaj’s steatopygia!