currently: hive porn

Last Saturday I did something I will never, ever do again: I picked beans from our garden. 



The resulting pasta — Pesto orecchiette with chicken sausage —  was delicious, but the angry hives that covered my face were decidedly not delicious. Apparently, I’m allergic to a weed that got slightly out of control in our garden. 

You know how after a disaster, there are people who can’t turn away from the news; from the tragic firsthand accounts and stomach-turning photos? I’ve heard this called misery porn. 

I am here to tell you that, along those same lines, there is such a thing as hive porn.

(Stay tuned for my follow up post, search engine optimization: how to attract sexual deviants who are into allergic reactions and/or bees.)

After the hives settled on my face, my co-workers stopped by on a regular basis to assess the status. Was it slightly better? Or had it gotten worse? What did Y think? Was I going to see a doctor? Had I tried Benadryl? Should I get a steroid shot? Did it itch? Did it burn? Did I want some cream?

I stayed home sick partially because of the hives, but mostly because I was tired of talking about them. Talking about hives is way more exhausting than wearing them. 

In other news:

+ READING: The Good Lord Bird, which seems like it will be worth it if I can ever actually get into it. In the car, I’m “reading” the Steve Jobs biography. Fun fact: Steve Jobs was kind of an asshole. And never bathed. 

+ LISTENING: Passion Pit. I have tickets to their upcoming show at the University of Minnesota, and the first thing I did after learning I had tickets was to google a  photo of the band. No surprises there.

+ LOVING: fall. I tried saying “pumpkin spice latte” three times in front of a mirror and no girl in yoga pants showed up, which was disappointing because I would have LOVED to discuss the merits of pumpkin spice Hershey’s kisses with someone.

+WRITING: on the back porch, wrapped in a blanket. Because, you know, FALL. 

(joining Lauren’s Sunday currently this week)

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3 thoughts on “currently: hive porn

  1. I got hives from a tiny sip of a green smoothie one time. All the ingredients were normal. The drug stores near my house are apparently not open 24 hours and I wake up way too damn early for work. I have not had one since and it's been about two years. Some things are not worth the risk!

    Like

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