01. When I tell people that I studied abroad in college, I feel like their respect level toward me goes up a smidgen. In fact, when I was applying for internships during college, my future boss accidentally included me in the recipients when she forwarded my resume to her colleagues. “Let’s go with her,” it said. “Worldly. Studied abroad.”
Sometimes I even feel proud of myself when I say I studied in London and Scotland for a summer.
But this weekend, I found my journal from that trip.
It’s from Claire’s (or — even worse — The Icing. I can’t remember). It is studded with fake rhinestones. In my 21-year-old’s handwriting, it says things like:
“GELATO IS MY WEAKNESS OF LIFE!!” and
“Notting Hill has so many bookstores — just like the movie! Now if only I could find Hugh Grant. 🙂” and
“And then we peed in the bushes in front of the Eiffel Tower with some Finnish girls.”
02. Something is wrong with the people of Minneapolis.
Y and I have been to 3 shows together, and something obnoxious has happened at each.
In December, we went to the Dakota Jazz Club for a concert. By concert, I mean a guy and his guitar sitting amongst tables with white tablecloths that had recently been cleared of a fancy meal. It was nice. Until a group of guys started screaming at the artist to sing their favorite songs and had to be thrown out.
In February, we saw Nick Offerman(aka Ron Swanson, for those not in the know)’s comedy show. A woman with a screechy voice was yelling at him the entire first half of the night. (To give you a better example of her distinct voice, Y initially thought it was Megan Mullaly – aka Nick Offerman’s wife, aka Tammy 2 on Parks & Rec, aka Karen from Will and Grace) “This is the first time I’ve ever had a drunk heckler,” said Offerman. She was soon escorted out.
And last night we saw Aziz Ansari’s latest stand up special, and I don’t know what was going on with the audience. There was a NONSTOP FLOW of people walking out to the lobby. Some people went out two or three times, including a girl who practiced her catwalk strut down the aisle, and a guy who mooned us every time he stood up. It was distracting and weird and gross.
Minneapolites, what is the deal? Why can’t you behave normally during performances?
03. Speaking of Aziz Ansari, Moshe Kasher opened for him and I recommend you watch his stand up special on Netflix immediately. He was hilarious.