the pros & cons of winter

+ I wear tights basically every day, therefore I feel justified buying new tights every other day. I even have the same tights as Sasha Obama. Nothing makes me feel more validated than having the same tights as a VIT (very important tween).

+ I keep a pack of bottled water in my car; I always have ice cold water in my car. Sometimes I even just have bottled ice in my car.

– All of the scarves and giant coats I’ve got going on are seriously messing with my peripheral vision. The hats covering my ears are messing with my sense of hearing. I’m down to three senses, and my fingers have gone numb enough times that I’m considering removing “touch” as well. 

– Putting on and taking off all of said scarves and giant coats results in at least one lost earring every wardrobe change.

-It’s dark all the time, and people wear ski masks even when they aren’t robbing banks. Add that to not being able to see over my shoulder or hear anything (see above) and that leads to me being paranoid on a daily basis.

-Speaking of paranoia: my jacket hanging on the back of my office door looks like a person hiding there. It fools me EVERY time. Well played, evil jacket.

Do you see it? Please tell me it’s not just me.

– I have had no less than 3 nightmares about my white dog getting loose and getting lost in the snow camouflage.

+ Walking out of a gym, covered in sweat, into a 3 degree day is just plain INVIGORATING.

+ The only person I’ve ever seen shovel snow in my life is the creepy neighbor turned hero from Home Alone. THUS, every time I see someone shoveling snow, I think of Home Alone.

– Winter in a blue state: these f-ing liberal hippies assume I want my groceries in paper bags, which always manage to touch snow, get wet, and disintegrate…. leaving me with a pile of groceries in the snow.

– I can handle the constant static electricity shocks. What I can’t handle is the pitiful face Ike makes when he gets shocked every two minutes. 

Snow looks like this:

– Snow looks like this:


18 thoughts on “the pros & cons of winter

  1. I'm moving to northern minnesota in a month and this is a very comprehensive list of what I should be looking forward to. HA, just kidding because I wore sweaters all the time when I lived on the equator. I'm probably going to turn into a popsicle and blog about it.


  2. One up those no bra wearin, hairy legged libbers by bringing your own reusable, made from organic cotton grocery bags. 😉 I continue to love your blog. It's hilarious reading through your first MN winter. Let's grab coffee soon.


  3. Ha, I'm cracking up about your paper bags. In San Francisco, we have banned plastic bags completely! They are not even an option. I always do a double take when I go somewhere new and get a plastic bag. It's like an unexpected luxury!


  4. Poor Ike! I've been shocking Miley a lot lately and I always feel so bad! Poor dogs!

    The coat behind the door definitely is a little creepy! It would probably freak me out daily, even when I know it's just a coat.


  5. I bought so many coats, scarves, welly socks, hats, gloves during our three years in England. Now I feel like I should just put them on randomly just because, and then I realize I'm sweating in a t-shirt walking the dogs. I'm not used to Southern 'winters' anymore.

    Coat on door= definitely creepy. Where I sit in our living room I frequently catch my computer's reflection in the window, and it makes me jump EVERY TIME. I'd be a wreck with that coat stalker situation.

    And our mostly white dog is invisible in snow, assuming her big brown spot-side is facing away. And our mostly black dog is invisible on low-moon nights. I just always encourage the buddy system for the two of them. Even inside our own fence.


  6. Oh, and during England winters I wore at least one layer under my jeans every day, but more often fleece lined leggings + flannel lined jeans or fleece lined leggings + thermals + regular jeans. The first day of summer (in June, usually) when I could put on JUST jeans? I felt gloriously naked. And like I should let every person I saw feel my shaved-for-the-first-time-in-6-months legs. I resisted. And the English appreciated it, I'm sure.


  7. Kugels and Tater's fur is like a magnet to the snow…it cakes onto their legs and we have to dip them in warm water to melt it off of them. Since I haven't mailed your Chanukah gift yet I now know that what I really need to send you are some really cute reusable Portland grocery bags to keep in your car. We are snow tubing tomorrow and will miss you!


  8. PS. It's clear to me (based on your tween coyote sweater and tween Sasha stockings) that you and the girls need to go shopping – oh, and you can bring me along too! We picked up some cute sweaters for them at Aeropostle the other day.


  9. I don't think I ever want to have a winter like this. I've never thought about the whole “paper bag meets snow and then disintegrates” problem. And then you still can't recycle the bag so it's a lose lose situation for the hippie liberals.


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