things you should have told me about Minnesota

To all of you who oh-so-helpfully pointed out that Minnesota was cold, here’s what you should have warned me about:

• The thunderstorms are long, frequent, and heavy on the lightning. 
• If you ride your bike at night, you’ll get hit in the face with a wall of mosquitoes.
• Basements? Terrifying.
• Minnesotans apparently did not learn the art of merging in drivers’ ed.
• Your local hardware store chain (Menard’s) and your iPhone will not get along. (context: this conversation was about buying a new fan)